I sometimes wish there was a pill that would take away all of my insecurities. I'm sure the only downside is becoming an ego maniac. Tit for tat right?
It's been said that you are your own worst critic. And a truer statement has never been spoken. I'm pretty sure the people I've met with the best hearts are the cruelest to themselves. I would count myself as one of them.
Sure I can gossip and be sarcastic but I am also incredibly caring and compassionate. I pride myself on my ability to listen to others while withholding judgement and on a good day advice too. What can I say I not perfect but I spend a lot of time trying to be.
As of late I can tell this inner critic is creeping in to poo on all my fun. It tells me I'm a mean jerk when in reality I probably put my foot in my mouth a little (like just the pinky toe) instead of the whole thing including the wool sock.
For instance, I had a lovely visit today. But do I focus on the overall pleasantness of my time spent with another person. NOOOOOooooooo of course I don't. My brain would rather remind me of all the anecdotes I repeated or annoying opinions I shared with my companion.
I am such a jerk to myself. I would never do this to someone else but here I am scalpel in hand dissecting every morsel of conversation. It's exhausting. I'm trying to use some skills to distract from this need to ruminate.
It's probably why I started this blog. I want to keep some sense of perspective while having the illusion of accountability.
Are you your own bully? How do you treat yourself with kindness?
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