I don't know what it is about being a parent that has brought out a sense of urgency to complete day to day tasks. It might be leftover nesting hormones but I just can't seem to get everything I want done. I wonder if it's because there's this tangible road block that cries and coos.
She comes first in all things. If I have to do laundry and she's crying or hungry I have to cease and desist immediately in order to meet her needs. I think it makes all (at this point) miniscule time to complete daily chores metamorphosize from mundane duty to enticing solo adventure.
The other day I went to get the mail. It was surprisingly invigorating the temperature was a pleasant 30 degrees The sun was shining, the air crisp and it was the perfect crunchy quiet that is exclusively Winter. I felt a bit like a thief in the night, stealing away a solitary moment in the forbidden world which is essentially doing anything sans baby.
It's new territory I'm exploring. A place where I don't really know what's going to happen next. I spend a lot of time just staring at her. I don't remember being that small and new and dependent. It makes me feel mortal. Don't get me wrong I am not one of those people who chases adrenaline in order to feel more alive. You won't find me testing the sharpness of the Grim Reaper's scythe just for fun.
Life is finite. Our experiences are infinite but limited to one lifetime. It's a lot to think about while holding a 4 lb 2 oz baby.
No comments:
Post a Comment