Baby Torture aka Tummy Time

The sound of pissed off baby ring loudly in our house tonight.  The dreaded tummy time our little dear absolutely loathes with every essence of her 16lb being.  I honestly believe this kid will start walking before she crawls to spite us for all the tummy time.

In other news our babe has a helmet.  Yes, flat head has hit our household.  I'm trying to embrace it but it's so hard when your kid looks like Tron Guy. Egad! On a serious note, it's hard not to feel like a failure.  I try to remind myself it's because she sleeps so soundly.  She rarely moves her noggin during her numerous baby naps. Additionally she was working with an extra malleable preemie head.

Today I went out with baby.  It's rare thing for me unless there is a Doctor's appointment or other similar required event.  I was doing great and little girl was on her best behavior.  I went to three places, two of which were actually almost leisure activities. While I'm at Saver's on senior discount day.  And then it happens this old lady flat out looks at baby and laughs in my face.  I was so astonished that I just stared and smiled like some sort of Mommy robot.  What in the hell do you do when someone is a complete ass?

I know this lady doesn't understand how hard it is for me to get out of the house.  Let alone with the helmet of guilt proudly displayed for all the world to judge.  The reality is she's one of the few turds in this world that tried to ruin my day.

So I'll pack away my issues and instead thank science for the helmet that will fix baby's oddly-shaped head into the beautiful melon it was meant to be.

Warp Speed

It's almost 7 months since I've had my baby and it seems like time has gone into warp speed.  I've never experienced anything like it.  This must be why my parents say "you're HOW old" every time one of their kids has a birthday.   Sure, we think nothing of it.  Parents just being parents.  Well I finally get it and I'm only 6 months and 3 weeks into parenthood.  She's eating solids! Before I know it she'll be calling me Mama and it's game over.

Not only will I have to come to terms with the fact that someone is calling me Mom but I'll really be someone's Mother.  That's when I'll officially belong to her and with that I realize with each milestone a little piece of my ego slips away.

Every second hinges on this little being.  For instance, she's learning to eat solids and these little mouthfuls are like small miracles.  Sometimes I catch myself holding my breath as I wait for her to open wide for the spoon--and when she does my heart skips a beat.

To Cook Or Not To Cook

I'm having some trouble cooking. Mostly I feel too exhausted to cook. The rest of the time there's no food in the house. I'm starting to feel stuck.

I've tried making lists of possible meals based on ingredients that I have on hand and posting them on my fridge.  I've been ordering groceries online because I have no desire to figure out shopping with a baby.  I started keeping a file (oops, I mean pile) of quick and healthy meals.  Nothing seems to stick.  All it takes is one bad day or a particularly long week and the whole system comes undone.

How do you keep motivated in the cooking department? For me it's a real challenge making time to cook family meals.  My goal is try to stay positive and encouraging myself to prepare and then sit at the table for dinner three times a week.

So far this week we've had two sit down meals. Hoorah! I tell ya it helps to have company coming over to really motivate me to clean off the kitchen table.  Our guest also reminded me how nice it is to sit at the table, chat without the tv blaring in the background and really be mindful of this special time of day.

For our dinner with company I prepared Gilbert's Gluten-Free Beer Bratworst which were really delicious.  Our guest brought deli salads and for dessert I made Lemon Bars with Buttery Crust.  The bars were amazing.  I absolutely loved the crunchy crust combined with the tart creamy top.  The only thing I did different was I used bottled lemon juice.

What are some of your goals when it comes to food?  Are you trying a new way of eating or seeking a new relationship with food?

Little Piles

My mind is all over the place lately.  I blame it on the little piles.  My house is filled with stacks of books or toys or laundry.  It's like a nightmarish game of jenga in here.  One false move and the whole place will fall down.

Some people flourish in clutter.  I am not one of those people.  Chaos causes me to shut down.  If I could ignore the mess away my house would be spotless. Instead I am left with more clumps of crap. It doesn't bother my husband at all. That is until he has to fix dinner or something and then he wants to shove everything on the floor.  I understand that feeling completely.  Somedays I just want to run around my house with my arms out clearing off every surface.

Yet chaos begets more chaos.  Messy house...messy mind.  It's a neverending struggle between cleaning and me time.  For instance right now I could be cleaning instead of complaining but then I wouldn't get this selfish moment to work my brain.

It's Monday

It's Monday.

Mondays are the hardest days of the week especially after a holiday.  Baby is just starting to get used to a bunch of people just aching to entertain her and then on Monday is left alone with me. It's a fussy day.  A day where I wish my husband would play hookie so I could sleep in instead I have a cranky baby and one hell of a cranky Momma.

Baby is sleeping for the time being and I need to steal a second to myself. This is my moment.  I could take a shower or read a book but instead I blog.  It feels good to shout out to the universe that today sort of sucks.

The good part is there's a fridge full of leftover holiday desserts and I am armed with a fork. ha ha!

Olive oil is not an adhesive.

Last night we dined on Easy! Oven-Baked Cod.  It was delicious and a simple dish to prepare.  The only problem was step three which is to brush cod with olive and face plant into breadcrumbs (by the way I used panko instead of regular.) Olive oil is not a good a adhesive no matter how much you put on your fish.    So rather than just have four breadcrumbs I recommend you pile the breadcrumbs on top and gently pat onto fish. Then slowly move the cod to the baking dish and then add a few more for good measure.  Overall it was a good dish but I think it could have been made differently.

For instance, zesting a lemon=pain in the ass.  Why not just squirt a little juice on top of the breadcrumb mixture or even just the plain fish?   I could hardly taste the lemony goodness until I squirted lemon on the finished fish.  I'm sure there's a reason to zest the lemon but when you have a ticking baby time bomb you might consider my way to save time.

Also I prepared the Baked Chicken Breasts with Parmesan Crust from a previous post.  This time I used cayenne pepper in the mustard mixture and spooned it on the chicken before putting in the breadcrumbs.  The chicken had a bit of a kick from the cayenne pepper and because there was a good amount of the seasoned dijon it tasted awesome. I recommend eating the leftovers sliced cold on warm flatbread.

I also made some new jewelry. I'll be donating some pieces to the Metro Friendship Foundation 7th Annual Ice Breaker Social Gala on Sunday April 19th from 5:00-10:00pm at the Bayview Event Center on Lake Minnetonka.

Kleenex

So I've been sick.  It's the absolute worst to be sick and have to take care of a baby.  Infants just don't understand that Mom wants to lay on the couch and be selfish while eating massive amounts of crackers.  If I haven't mentioned it before THANK HEAVENS FOR GRANDPARENTS! Seriously I don't know how I would have survived without help.  I'd just turn into a gigantic pool of mucus and who wants to clean that up?

There isn't a lot to report.  Today I feel mostly human with just the frayed edges of sickness lurking about my body.  I'm coughing and such but am on the mend.  Hoorah!

I just finished a children's book called Fortunately the Milk.  It was a cute story and since I'm giving it to my niece and nephew I thought I should preview it to make sure it's not too scary.  I would definitely recommend it to read aloud to kids in grade school that don't get freaked out by brief mentions of aliens and vampires.  My niece and nephew are 8 years old and I think they will enjoy reading and listening to the story over the course of several bedtimes. It's very imaginative and a lot like Dr. Who so I think both parents and kids will like it.

Today I have a few hours to myself as both hubby and baby are snuggling and napping.  Our little one sleeps so much better when being held so I'm sure to get more than the normal 45 minute morning break. I might just start a little sewing or knitting project. Stay tuned for the results.

Spring Cleaning

I am desperately trying to get my house organized and by house I do not mean basement. So far we have donated three bags of clothing, one box of home goods and brought one box to a local consignment store.  Needless to say there is still too much crap.  I think it's our new roommate.  Sure she's cute and all but why does she need all these things.  We may have to scale back to pioneer days when all babies had were bugs, sticks and rocks...perhaps not that sparse but you get my drift.

Today my Dad came over and was a huge help.  I cannot tell you how much Grandparents rock.  Seriously anyone who comes over and mops my floor is probably going to be my new best friend.  Do they still sell those BFF necklaces?  I may need to stock up. 

Tonight we have Baked Chicken Breasts with Parmesan Crust.  Delicious! The only trouble I had was getting the dijon mustard split evenly between the chicken breasts.  I think that next time I will try the spoon and schmear method.  Other than that the chicken was crunchy, moist and flavorful.  

I am still trying to find time to craft in between the madness that is being a stay at home parent.  Yesterday I made a dinosaur pincushion out of a planter a friend made me. My cat ate the plant so I repurposed it.  I think it turned out pretty darn cute.

Sweet dreams

It gets harder and harder to find time for myself.  Baby has been waking me up at 4:30 in the morning hungry.  It really takes a toll when you lose a full nights rest.  It's probably easier on me than my husband because I don't have to function at work the next day.  I do what I can to make it balanced but when exhaustion rolls over you like a deafening thunder there's little sympathy for anyone else.

After these messages we'll be right back.

Hi!

It's been a while. Parenthood land is filled laundry, vacuuming, diapers, feeding and other super fun chores. Our little one is still mastering her hands and has awesomely started sleeping through the night.  It's seriously the best ever!

My cooking world has sort of fallen to the wayside.  The main issue being getting to the grocery store.  It's impossible to leave the house and when I get the chance to go out I don't want to go to the grocery store.

Some exciting news is that  I've been working on jewelry to contribute to my friends' company called Partly Cloudy Collective.  Stay tuned for details on where you can buy my pieces.

Sweater pin with fresh water pearls

Upcycled Givenchy pearls with crystals and cut stone on an aged silver chain.

Acrylic pattern pendant on upcycled aged metal chain

Day Dream Day Drinker

I'm pretty sure my cats are preparing me for having a toddler.  I spend a lot of my day yelling "no" and "get down."  Of course these commands rarely work on the first attempt and I bet you it's the same way when reasoning with an 18 month old.

My little one is almost 4 months old.  I caught her gazing at her little fists as if to say "what the hell are you?"  She's been smacking her face a lot so I'll excuse the profanity for now.  

I'm so glad that this is something babies outgrow.  It's kind of awful to see your baby hit themselves over and over again. Then there's the added bonus of waking themselves up (dear God no!!!)  We are pretty lucky at the moment she's sleeping through the night and still taking multiple naps throughout the day. She's probably exhausted or knocked herself out. 

The longer our girl is around I've realized her sleeping patterns are proportional to my sanity. Essentially less sleep for baby equals a Mom that's on the brink of hysterics all day.  This is not an equation for a happy household.  

So this project my guy has been working on is going to continue through March.  It's wonderful (like stubbing your toe.)  I'm at the point where I would like to body slam his job repeatedly. It's so frustrating because all there is to do is accept it.  I can't call his boss or write an anonymous letter-- believe me I've thought about it. 

It's incredibly hard to be grateful that your partner is gainfully employed when it completely dominates his entire life.  This is where I daydream about the days of old when everyone worked eight to five and drank on the job.  Oh wait, that's Mad Men and white privilege talking here.  Crap.

I think I better go check on dinner.  

Grim Reaper folding socks

I don't know what it is about being a parent that has brought out a sense of urgency to complete day to day tasks.  It might be leftover nesting hormones but I just can't seem to get everything I want done.  I wonder if it's because there's this tangible road block that cries and coos.

She comes first in all things.  If I have to do laundry and she's crying or hungry I have to cease and desist immediately in order to meet her needs.  I think it makes all (at this point) miniscule time to complete daily chores metamorphosize from mundane duty to enticing solo adventure.  

The other day I went to get the mail.  It was surprisingly invigorating the temperature was a pleasant 30 degrees The sun was shining, the air crisp and it was the perfect crunchy quiet that is exclusively Winter.  I felt a bit like a thief in the night, stealing away a solitary moment in the forbidden world which is essentially doing anything sans baby.

It's new territory I'm exploring.  A place where I don't really know what's going to happen next.  I spend a lot of time just staring at her.  I don't remember being that small and new and dependent.  It makes me feel mortal.  Don't get me wrong I am not one of those people who chases adrenaline in order to feel more alive.  You won't find me testing the sharpness of the Grim Reaper's scythe just for fun.

Life is finite.  Our experiences are infinite but limited to one lifetime.  It's a lot to think about while holding a 4 lb 2 oz baby.

I know you are but what am I?

I sometimes wish there was a pill that would take away all of my insecurities. I'm sure the only downside is becoming an ego maniac.   Tit for tat right?

It's been said that you are your own worst critic.  And a truer statement has never been spoken. I'm pretty sure the people I've met with the best hearts are the cruelest to themselves.   I would count myself as one of them.

Sure I can gossip and be sarcastic but I am also incredibly caring and compassionate.  I pride myself on my ability to listen to others while withholding judgement and on a good day advice too.  What can I say I not perfect but I spend a lot of time trying to be.

As of late I can tell this inner critic is creeping in to poo on all my fun.  It tells me I'm a mean jerk when in reality I probably put my foot in my mouth a little (like just the pinky toe) instead of the whole thing including the wool sock.

For instance, I had a lovely visit today.  But do I focus on the overall pleasantness of my time spent with another person.  NOOOOOooooooo of course I don't.  My brain would rather remind me of all the anecdotes I repeated or annoying opinions I shared with my companion.

I am such a jerk to myself. I would never do this to someone else but here I am scalpel in hand dissecting every morsel of conversation.  It's exhausting.  I'm trying to use some skills to distract from this need to ruminate.

It's probably why I started this blog.  I want to keep some sense of perspective while having the illusion of accountability.

Are you your own bully? How do you treat yourself with kindness?

Who's got a case of the Mondays?

I can't believe the weekend is over.  I might just want to cry.  The hubby didn't have to work and we had extra hands as my in-laws came to stay.

You would not believe the stuff I got done.  I cooked a meal for ten people, organized my papers and started a filling system. I slept so much that I almost feel normal.  I went out on a date with my guy.  Wow! Seriously wow!

It's times like these that I feel so optimistic and positive.  I wish I could hold onto the feeling and keep up the momentum but the days get long and lonely.  It's hard to keep on truckin when you are taking care of an infant.

Tonight I'm baking.  I very rarely bake anything.  I think it's because I live on the savory/salty side of life.  Everybody needs a little sweet sometime.  So tonight it's Lemon Blueberry Cake.  The recipe is adapted from a Blueberry Cake recipe from the Student's Vegetarian Cookbook by Carole Raymond.  I have the 1997 edition but there is a newer revised edition from 2003.  I doubled it, added lemon zest, and topped with a lemon glaze

I cooked it for 35 minutes and it was golden brown on top but still raw in the middle. Boo! So I put it back in for another 7 minutes and lowered the temperature to 300 degrees.  I think I could have probably left in there at 350 for 5 more minutes and it would have been okay.  I used a glass casserole dish which probably had some impact on how the cake baked.

***Update January 29, 2015: I did some research and if you use a dark metal pan or glass dish lower the temperature by 25 degrees.  So I made a second cake and baked it at 325 degrees for 40 minutes.  It turned out perfectly.****

The cake was quite yummy. It's more fresh and light than a traditional cake.  My hubby said it had nice citrus flavor and tasted almost good for you.   What more can you ask for?

Cat Lady Lemon Blueberry Cake

3 cups flour
1 cup sugar
4 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups milk or soy milk (not sure how almond or coconut milk bakes)
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 cups fresh or frozen blueberries rinse, thawed and drained
1 lemon zested

Lemon Glaze

3/4 cup powdered sugar
3 to 4 tablespoons lemon juice

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

1. In a medium bowl, combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt.
2. Add the milk, lemon zest and oil; mix until the batter is smooth.
3. Pour the mixture into a lightly oiled 9 X 12-inch baking pan. ( I used a glass baking dish.)
4. Sprinkle the berries on top
5. Bake for 35 to 45 minutes, or until the top is golden and the middle is cooked.
6. Let rest for 5 to 10 minutes.
7. Mix powdered sugar and lemon juice in a bowl.
8. Drizzle mixture on top of cake with a fork or spoon and serve.

It's Caterday

It's a miracle.  I feel almost like a new person Thirteen hours of uninterrupted sleep will do that for a girl.  I'm still a little tired and rumpled but overall much better. 

The little one is starting to interact a bit more.  We have this awesome book called Kitty Tails (you can still find it online.)  It's bright and crinkly.  She loves it.  Her eyes boing out everytime I turn the page.  I gotta say it really makes me giggle. 

Last week was a real struggle.  I am glad that it's over.  It's hard to be creative let alone function when you feel completely tapped. I hope this weekend brings a much needed reprieve.  

Blabber blab blabby blab

Yesterday I made Turkey Meatball Soup.  It was delicious! I would highly recommend it for a quick dinner. We had enough for 4 large servings. Here's a link to the recipe: Weeknight Bite's Turkey Meatball Soup

It would be pretty simple to modify this recipe should you not live near a Trader Joes.  The Mirepoix is roughly a pound mixture of carrots, onion and celery.  In my mind it looked like a small/medium yellow onion, 3 large carrots and 3 celery stalks.  By the time I wrote this the bag of cabbage was already in the garbage so I don't know the ounces.  I think you could easily substitute a bag of coleslaw mix or 1/4 head of cabbage.

I don't have a lot to add.  I am way tired.  Fortunately the hubby doesn't have to work through the weekend. As a bonus my in-laws are coming for a visit and my niece and nephew have a birthday (they're twins.) So it will be busy but tons of family fun.

I watched The Taste tonight and was inspired to make a Sesame Snow Pea Salad.  I followed a recipe but I thought it was bland so I doctored it up.  Soon my salad had shredded carrots, tons of green onions (I'm addicted) and a lot more sesame seeds.  For the dressing I added more soy sauce, rice vinegar and sesame oil.  Then it tasted sort of gross. Oops! So I in went honey, orange juice, garlic and fresh ginger.  I think it turned out pretty darn good.  Hopefully I'll make it again.  When I do I'll post it here with measurements.  Just in case that never happens here is a similar recipe  Cooking.com's Sesame Dressing.

It's super late but I need some more ME time.  It's time to watch The Fall on Netflix.  You should stop reading this and watch it.  It is so flipping good.  First off there's Scully aka Gillian Anderson.  She's a detective trying to find a serial killer.  The show reminds me a bit of Prime Suspect with Helen Mirren.  Probably because Mirren's character is a seriously tough cookie just like Anderson.  I absolutely love British Detective shows.  I should really rewatch Prime Suspect and Wire in the Blood too.  It's been forever.  Seriously, it was so long go there was no Netflix, online streaming, just live Masterpiece on PBS.

Until next time. Eat your veggies.

It's only Tuesday.

 I can tell I'm pretty much about to lose my mind.  I'm trying to prevent that by writing here.  I think I need to do something else too. 

The baby cries whenever I set her down.  It sucks.  Thank the heavens my Mom came over today to rescue me.  I had these grand plans for rearranging things and cleaning.  Instead I napped for 5 hours. After how many hours does a nap change to just sleeping?  

I feel remotely better.  The house looks like a disaster area.  It's driving me nuts.  I'm having one of those I want to throw out everything I own mixed in with I hate my clothes and nothing fits days.  It's really not a good thing.  

Here's hoping tomorrow is better.  

It Gets Better

Overall I feel sort of hum-drum.  I'm still sorting out this whole I'm an adult and fully responsible for another human thing.  The motto for parenthood is "it gets better."

Babies start sleeping more.  It gets better.  They start laughing and smiling.  It gets better.  Then the walking and talking. It continually gets better.  It's pretty much our rally cry and way to support each other because sometimes it's seems endless.  

The days and night blend into each other. Soon 3:00 am seems like a great time to catch up on emails because God only knows when this baby is going to sleep again.  I have two hands free I could probably shower too....oh wait she's crying because I set her down.  Shit. Nevermind. 

We've reached the 3 month mark but it's really 2 months as she is a preemie. I sort of feel like this kid is a genius.  I know, I know every parent thinks that way.  Honestly though she's brilliant.  She can hold up her head and move it around with purpose.  She can smile and the giggles are starting too. Sure they are intermittent but these are the things that keep us going on 4 hours of sleep.  It's amazing.  If I had the time to read the books I'd probably realize she is right on schedule.

I was able to squeeze in some daily chores and readied the announcements for the mail.  Tomorrow fingers crossed a shower and if I am so bold creating an office in my china hutch or rearranging our bedroom.  The reality is I will probably do dishes and hold the baby.  

I thought I should include my recipe for last nights dinner and the leftover-makeover I had for lunch today. 

Baked Chicken Breast

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. 

Place chicken breasts in a glass casserole dish.

Put a little oil on top of the chicken and use a pastry/barbeque brush to smear around until the chicken is coated. 

Flip and repeat. 

Sprinkle seasoning on chicken.  I used salt, sage, thyme and rosemary.  Pat seasoning onto breast. 

Flip and repeat.

Bake for 18-25 minutes until chicken is not pink/170 degrees

Remove from oven and let rest for 10 minutes (if you have the patience)

Add the sides you want. I recommend a steam in bag veggie and some kind of starch like rice.

Leftover-Makeover Soup 

We had one chicken breast leftover from dinner so today I made some soup. 

4 cups Chicken Broth or I used low sodium bouillon (follow directions on container to make 4 cups) 

4 ounces thin rice noodles

1 sliced leftover chicken breast seasoned 

I just threw in the veggies I had on hand and didn't really measure. I based it on what looked like good mixture but my guess is as follows:

Approx 1/2-3/4 cup spring onions 

Approx 1/2-3/4 cup shredded carrots

Approx 1/2-3/4 cup snow peas

Bring chicken broth to boil.  Add rice noodles and stir.  Cook until done (about 2 minutes.) Then add chicken breast, spring onion, shredded carrots and snow peas.  Stir.  Cook 3 more minutes.  I like my veggies still crunchy.  You could cook longer if you want.  And should be ready to serve.  

Makes for a simple and fast homemade lunch.  

You could really use any tasty mix of veggies on hand. Try cabbage, edamame, or broccoli.  

Oh snap! It's Sunday

I spent most of the day today thinking it was Saturday. It's the worst feeling when you realize it's the wrong day as inevitably it screws something up.  This weekend was a rough one.  The hubby had to work most of the time which left me as the main caretaker.  It really makes me want to punch his job in the face.

So I'm a stay at home mom or home maker or whatever.  It's probably the toughest job I've ever had to do.  I have moments where I want to burst into tears or feel so bored that I might just parish or so busy that I can't think straight.  It's a rollercoaster of emotions with an added dash of hormones to really bring you to your knees.

I love my daughter.  She is amazing.  She has changed so much in the short time she's been outside of the womb.  I can see the gears shifting and how in each moment another connection is created in her brain.  It's truly awe inspiring how we all started out like a little blob and then become this thinking, feeling, running and jumping person.

Sometimes its hard to revel in her growth.  I get bogged down by all these things I tell myself that I'm supposed to be doing.  The downside of being a home maker is that all the jobs you hate feel like your responsibility.

Maybe it's all the "should" thoughts that I really loathe.  "I should be doing laundry...dishes...etc"  It's really hard to turn off all these thoughts and just be present.  Perhaps I'll add mindfulness to my goals for the year.

I'm kind of all over the place tonight. I think it's the byproduct of my tough weekend.  I feel a little vulnerable and judgemental of myself.  So let's focus on some positives I made dinner (another should) of baked chicken with stuffing and spinach.  It was pretty good actually.  I guess I'm progressing on my goals.  I'm not sure if the whole less fat thing is working because I want to eat everything that's not tied down.  How do you change endless hunger?

Zzzz

I could really use some sleep.  My guess is about two to three weeks worth would probably get rid of the bags under my eyes and brighten up my memory and vocabulary.  I have never forgotten so much in my life.  It doesn't even phase me that I can't remember the name for smallpox even though I described it to others as chicken pox but smaller.  Come on neurons fire fire fire!

Neurons are in the brain right.  I should probably Google it but that requires work.  Meh. 

F is for Frieday Chinese Food

Don't you just love January?  It's cold and windy and miserable.  Then you add the onslaught of dieting and fitness commercials and it's basically a pipe bomb of self-destruction.  Oh wait...is that just me?

Someone somewhere said diets don't work.  I've proven that to be true.  So what's a girl to do? My goal (because New Year's Resolutions are so last year) is to be a little less fat and of course that feels pretty much impossible right now.  It's like 45 below zero  and I have a baby surgically attached to my hip.  (It might actually be easier if she was because then I'd have my hands free.)

I want to set some (insert air quotes) goals  but I'm pretty terrible at the kinds that involve food.  The minute I decide what I won't eat my mind lasers in on that food. Then like a bad song on repeat the thought keeps playing until I devour said food.

Okay seriously,  as I write this I am digesting chicken wings and fried rice (said forbidden food) conveniently delivered to my door.  However tasty I'm pretty sure it doesn't help me with the whole being less fat thing I'd like to work on.

Usually the whole New Years schtick is set on the tried at true scientific procrastinators theorem which is a follows

(Good Intentions + Netflix + Snacks)  x Tomorrow  = Nope

Or as a word problem

Katie wants to spend 2015 working on being an amazing parent and losing some pounds.  Suddenly January is over and few things have changed.  In February, the month of lurve,  she eats chocolate.  Conveniently the same month Game of Thrones is on Netflix which she watched in moderation (snicker.)  Suddenly Katie realized it's March which is practically Spring so she then waited until April (insert Easter and add more chocolate) to consider her life changes.   Does Katie really batten down the hatches and start thinking about these (insert air quotes) goals or does she make popcorn and wait for 2016?

So I'm thinking  that instead of a grandiose goal that leads to another year feeling unchallenged and unchanged that perhaps it's time for a itsy bitsy teeny speck of an idea. Basically, I will try... dun dun dun



(dramatic pause)




cooking from scratch. I should clarify I will not be making pasta and there will be cans and jars involved but no spray cheese.  I am not Martha or Julia but I can follow a recipe.  Basically it's cheaper and hopefully tastier with less additives.  I think it's realistic minus the temptation of Chinese food delivery which is a miracle of the modern age.

We shall see.  I think 2015 will be a year of stuff or something.

I'm pretty sure my cats and baby are the masters now

The miracle of life is really about surviving the miracle of life.  The last three months have been a blur of  diapers, bottles, breastfeeding (attempting too....don't get me started) and occasionally sleep.  Our daughter was 1 month early and considering how miserable I was during month 9 it was sort of a blessing that she came early. Of course it's easy to say that now because we survived Hellp Syndrome, an emergency caesarian, and bringing home a 3 lb 15 ounce baby.  I mean talk about tiny.  There should seriously be some sort of permit or test or background check by the FBI required to bring home something that small.

She's much larger now and more opinionated.   It's really quite shocking how big a baby can get in 3 months. How big you ask?  How that heck should I know! I don't even know when I showered last. It's true I don't. I should be mortified but I don't stink so it's a win-win as far as I'm concerned.  Anyway I digress,  I know she's at least 10 lbs or more and that her head has got to be at least 5 lbs because it hurts like hell when she smacks into my chin with it.  

As I'm trying to type this cat #2 is walking back and forth on my lap to remind me that he needs dinner.  That is one thing I will never forget...they won't let me.  These cats are not subtle.  I have the scratch marks to prove it.  We feed them 3 times a day.  So it's not like they are starving, of course if they could speak I'm sure a profanity filled argument would commence in which they staunchly disagree with me.

So in these first 3 months of parenthood I've learned that my cats and baby, in that order, are the masters now. I am here to do their bidding and sometimes I enjoy it.

Can haz baby?

Greetings all,

Welcome to my stream of consciousness.  I'm a 35 year old Momma of two cats and a 3 month old baby.  Parenthood is a lot harder than I thought it would be.  Having two hands available to type is a small miracle in itself.  I really should be doing laundry or dishes but if I don't write I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose my mind.