Spring Cleaning

I am desperately trying to get my house organized and by house I do not mean basement. So far we have donated three bags of clothing, one box of home goods and brought one box to a local consignment store.  Needless to say there is still too much crap.  I think it's our new roommate.  Sure she's cute and all but why does she need all these things.  We may have to scale back to pioneer days when all babies had were bugs, sticks and rocks...perhaps not that sparse but you get my drift.

Today my Dad came over and was a huge help.  I cannot tell you how much Grandparents rock.  Seriously anyone who comes over and mops my floor is probably going to be my new best friend.  Do they still sell those BFF necklaces?  I may need to stock up. 

Tonight we have Baked Chicken Breasts with Parmesan Crust.  Delicious! The only trouble I had was getting the dijon mustard split evenly between the chicken breasts.  I think that next time I will try the spoon and schmear method.  Other than that the chicken was crunchy, moist and flavorful.  

I am still trying to find time to craft in between the madness that is being a stay at home parent.  Yesterday I made a dinosaur pincushion out of a planter a friend made me. My cat ate the plant so I repurposed it.  I think it turned out pretty darn cute.

Sweet dreams

It gets harder and harder to find time for myself.  Baby has been waking me up at 4:30 in the morning hungry.  It really takes a toll when you lose a full nights rest.  It's probably easier on me than my husband because I don't have to function at work the next day.  I do what I can to make it balanced but when exhaustion rolls over you like a deafening thunder there's little sympathy for anyone else.

After these messages we'll be right back.

Hi!

It's been a while. Parenthood land is filled laundry, vacuuming, diapers, feeding and other super fun chores. Our little one is still mastering her hands and has awesomely started sleeping through the night.  It's seriously the best ever!

My cooking world has sort of fallen to the wayside.  The main issue being getting to the grocery store.  It's impossible to leave the house and when I get the chance to go out I don't want to go to the grocery store.

Some exciting news is that  I've been working on jewelry to contribute to my friends' company called Partly Cloudy Collective.  Stay tuned for details on where you can buy my pieces.

Sweater pin with fresh water pearls

Upcycled Givenchy pearls with crystals and cut stone on an aged silver chain.

Acrylic pattern pendant on upcycled aged metal chain

Day Dream Day Drinker

I'm pretty sure my cats are preparing me for having a toddler.  I spend a lot of my day yelling "no" and "get down."  Of course these commands rarely work on the first attempt and I bet you it's the same way when reasoning with an 18 month old.

My little one is almost 4 months old.  I caught her gazing at her little fists as if to say "what the hell are you?"  She's been smacking her face a lot so I'll excuse the profanity for now.  

I'm so glad that this is something babies outgrow.  It's kind of awful to see your baby hit themselves over and over again. Then there's the added bonus of waking themselves up (dear God no!!!)  We are pretty lucky at the moment she's sleeping through the night and still taking multiple naps throughout the day. She's probably exhausted or knocked herself out. 

The longer our girl is around I've realized her sleeping patterns are proportional to my sanity. Essentially less sleep for baby equals a Mom that's on the brink of hysterics all day.  This is not an equation for a happy household.  

So this project my guy has been working on is going to continue through March.  It's wonderful (like stubbing your toe.)  I'm at the point where I would like to body slam his job repeatedly. It's so frustrating because all there is to do is accept it.  I can't call his boss or write an anonymous letter-- believe me I've thought about it. 

It's incredibly hard to be grateful that your partner is gainfully employed when it completely dominates his entire life.  This is where I daydream about the days of old when everyone worked eight to five and drank on the job.  Oh wait, that's Mad Men and white privilege talking here.  Crap.

I think I better go check on dinner.  

Grim Reaper folding socks

I don't know what it is about being a parent that has brought out a sense of urgency to complete day to day tasks.  It might be leftover nesting hormones but I just can't seem to get everything I want done.  I wonder if it's because there's this tangible road block that cries and coos.

She comes first in all things.  If I have to do laundry and she's crying or hungry I have to cease and desist immediately in order to meet her needs.  I think it makes all (at this point) miniscule time to complete daily chores metamorphosize from mundane duty to enticing solo adventure.  

The other day I went to get the mail.  It was surprisingly invigorating the temperature was a pleasant 30 degrees The sun was shining, the air crisp and it was the perfect crunchy quiet that is exclusively Winter.  I felt a bit like a thief in the night, stealing away a solitary moment in the forbidden world which is essentially doing anything sans baby.

It's new territory I'm exploring.  A place where I don't really know what's going to happen next.  I spend a lot of time just staring at her.  I don't remember being that small and new and dependent.  It makes me feel mortal.  Don't get me wrong I am not one of those people who chases adrenaline in order to feel more alive.  You won't find me testing the sharpness of the Grim Reaper's scythe just for fun.

Life is finite.  Our experiences are infinite but limited to one lifetime.  It's a lot to think about while holding a 4 lb 2 oz baby.

I know you are but what am I?

I sometimes wish there was a pill that would take away all of my insecurities. I'm sure the only downside is becoming an ego maniac.   Tit for tat right?

It's been said that you are your own worst critic.  And a truer statement has never been spoken. I'm pretty sure the people I've met with the best hearts are the cruelest to themselves.   I would count myself as one of them.

Sure I can gossip and be sarcastic but I am also incredibly caring and compassionate.  I pride myself on my ability to listen to others while withholding judgement and on a good day advice too.  What can I say I not perfect but I spend a lot of time trying to be.

As of late I can tell this inner critic is creeping in to poo on all my fun.  It tells me I'm a mean jerk when in reality I probably put my foot in my mouth a little (like just the pinky toe) instead of the whole thing including the wool sock.

For instance, I had a lovely visit today.  But do I focus on the overall pleasantness of my time spent with another person.  NOOOOOooooooo of course I don't.  My brain would rather remind me of all the anecdotes I repeated or annoying opinions I shared with my companion.

I am such a jerk to myself. I would never do this to someone else but here I am scalpel in hand dissecting every morsel of conversation.  It's exhausting.  I'm trying to use some skills to distract from this need to ruminate.

It's probably why I started this blog.  I want to keep some sense of perspective while having the illusion of accountability.

Are you your own bully? How do you treat yourself with kindness?

Who's got a case of the Mondays?

I can't believe the weekend is over.  I might just want to cry.  The hubby didn't have to work and we had extra hands as my in-laws came to stay.

You would not believe the stuff I got done.  I cooked a meal for ten people, organized my papers and started a filling system. I slept so much that I almost feel normal.  I went out on a date with my guy.  Wow! Seriously wow!

It's times like these that I feel so optimistic and positive.  I wish I could hold onto the feeling and keep up the momentum but the days get long and lonely.  It's hard to keep on truckin when you are taking care of an infant.

Tonight I'm baking.  I very rarely bake anything.  I think it's because I live on the savory/salty side of life.  Everybody needs a little sweet sometime.  So tonight it's Lemon Blueberry Cake.  The recipe is adapted from a Blueberry Cake recipe from the Student's Vegetarian Cookbook by Carole Raymond.  I have the 1997 edition but there is a newer revised edition from 2003.  I doubled it, added lemon zest, and topped with a lemon glaze

I cooked it for 35 minutes and it was golden brown on top but still raw in the middle. Boo! So I put it back in for another 7 minutes and lowered the temperature to 300 degrees.  I think I could have probably left in there at 350 for 5 more minutes and it would have been okay.  I used a glass casserole dish which probably had some impact on how the cake baked.

***Update January 29, 2015: I did some research and if you use a dark metal pan or glass dish lower the temperature by 25 degrees.  So I made a second cake and baked it at 325 degrees for 40 minutes.  It turned out perfectly.****

The cake was quite yummy. It's more fresh and light than a traditional cake.  My hubby said it had nice citrus flavor and tasted almost good for you.   What more can you ask for?

Cat Lady Lemon Blueberry Cake

3 cups flour
1 cup sugar
4 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups milk or soy milk (not sure how almond or coconut milk bakes)
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 cups fresh or frozen blueberries rinse, thawed and drained
1 lemon zested

Lemon Glaze

3/4 cup powdered sugar
3 to 4 tablespoons lemon juice

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

1. In a medium bowl, combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt.
2. Add the milk, lemon zest and oil; mix until the batter is smooth.
3. Pour the mixture into a lightly oiled 9 X 12-inch baking pan. ( I used a glass baking dish.)
4. Sprinkle the berries on top
5. Bake for 35 to 45 minutes, or until the top is golden and the middle is cooked.
6. Let rest for 5 to 10 minutes.
7. Mix powdered sugar and lemon juice in a bowl.
8. Drizzle mixture on top of cake with a fork or spoon and serve.